No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
