Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
