Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
