Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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