is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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