She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
