Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
