I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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