I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
