sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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