oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize