we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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