omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
