Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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