what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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