just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
