Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
