I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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