Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
