I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
