Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
