My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
