Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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