i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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