Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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