Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
