Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
did you just send me my own nude
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
