I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
