Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
