We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
