Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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