Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
