Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
