the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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