Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
