I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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