She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I need moral support for this bender
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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