The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
