Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
