So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
foreskin is a definite game changer
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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