He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
