How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
