Have you finally orgasmed yet?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize