i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
