I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
