I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize