The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
