Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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