sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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