i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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