Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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