Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
