wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
