You're so nebulous sometimes
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
