I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
