I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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