Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
