ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
only if we run a train.
done.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize